How to Be a Teenager (15 steps)

           I've heard too often the complaints and stories of those who wish they had their teenageship back. There is also an exorbitantly large number of adults who wish to completely put their youth behind them, and for the wrong reasons. So let's do something about it! Today, I'll walk you through a little tutorial on how and why to live like adolescents, otherwise known as open-minded and free-spirited individuals who behave rashly, sometimes immaturely, and are still trying to find their place in this world.


1. Forget everything that you think you know.
   
          It's time to pop the bubble (or the zit, haha punny?) of the limited field of vision and knowledge that you've become comfortable with for so long. As a teenager, you have to get used to the fact that Santa Claus is probably nonexistent, and that people tend to lie about what they want when they want something. You've got to be a completely dry sponge before you can hope to soak in the realities and truths of the new world and...

2. Become your own individual.

          Maybe in middle school (or in the workplace) you can get away with the "being a part of the pack mentality", and know that behaving just like everyone else will help you keep your status, whether it be work or cool-related. That may have worked before, but this is high school, son! Being the optimal teenager involves realizing that not many people really care about the little, or even the big things that you do or accomplish. In fact, you might even want to

3. Quit worrying about status

          Because that will get you nowhere, and that's what little people do. It doesn't pay to follow where others tell you to go, or do what others suggest you should do.

4. Think about life a lot.

          Because you don't know much about it, no matter how old you are. But maybe if you think really hard, the answer will come to you in a flash of inspiration, kind of like an mind-gasm. You've always been very talented at problem solving; I mean, that's what you have to do at school, right? Life could just philosophically be a final exam that you need to study up for. But maybe you should

5. Talk to others and refine your ideas

         Since that's what science is about, isn't it? If you find the teenagers that stand out from the crowd, the ones that have started their metamorphosis already, you'll find much brilliant insight that you can use to clarify your thoughts on where you're headed, and where humanity is headed.

6134^%&084k. Break the rules, and question everything?

         You may have been raised in a family of order. Perhaps you were raised in a family of chaos and entropy. Probably your house was some of both. Maybe you were raised 40 years ago, but you were still raised, even if by yourself. By now, it's time to figure out who raised you right, and what you should have known all along. Rules exist for a reason, but that reason is a lot deeper than "to prevent bad behavior". Go out and break some rules, despite what your mother, brother, sister, boss, father, or best friend told you. It's imperative that you

7. Act stupid. At least once in your life, but hopefully many, many times.

        How are you supposed to know what's dumb if you haven't lived it? The best way to look really ridiculous is to...

8. Try new things. All the time.

       Remember the time your friend Jimmy dared you to eat a frogs' leg and you chickened out? You're pretty sure you never wanted to feel that regret again, so you realize that you need to be bold. Your (insert sport here) team's motto is "if you do what you've always done, you'll get what you've always gotten". So you'll reach for the new, throw out the ancient, try new methods and practices, and it's all because you...

9. Want things. Want them badly.

       And not just the silly, immature things. You want more than a skateboard, or a new pair of shoes, maybe even more than a brand new car. You want opportunity, freedom, and the world. Idealism floods your veins, and your parents' words about "thinking about the future" are starting to really hit you. From this day forth, this world is yours for the taking. But only if you...

10. Work hard towards your goals.

      Teenagers sometimes get a bad rap for being lazy or unmotivated, but those are only the ones that lack self-actualization and just haven't fully gotten there yet. The better examples to look at are those that run on the track before school, those that lock themselves in their rooms at night to study, and those who paint the school's murals. Personally, I would consider the 16-year-old gymnasts at the Olympics at least a little actualized.

11. Sleep. Eat. Repeat.
     
      Your body and mind are still growing, so who can blame you for taking care of the simple things? Too often I see older people sacrifice one or the other because of a short-sighted goal, and they wonder how they end up so cranky sometimes.

12. Make mistaches mistkes mistakes. And learn from them.

      As many people believe, wisdom is earned through experience, and teenagers frankly don't have enough of it. Or sometimes, they just don't respond to the negative areas of their life except with complaints, and then wonder why their lives are stagnant. There was a motto printed on the shirts of a sports team that said "if you do what you've always done, you'll get what you've always gotten." Truth.

13. Feel the whole range of emotion.

       Let's face it. Teenagers are emotional! Hormones raging, lives changing, plenty of first experiences, pressures from all angles, interacting with all sorts of people, it's a lot to take on in a few years. Emotions are often discarded, believed by many to be useless and a hindrance. However, emotion is deeply rooted in the subconscious, limbic brain, and it's a huge part of what makes us human. Note: does not apply if you're a robot who's reading this in the distant future.

14. Get frustrated at the way things are. Be aware!
 
      After you've been around something for so long, it's easy to start thinking that it's normal. Take this interesting experiment with corporate monkeys, for example. (What they didn't include was that the banana was removed in step 5.)
 

            Young adults are notorious for being inquisitive, and sometimes rowdy when they see something they don't like. They're less likely to fall for the "that's how things are done around here" mentality, and that's partly because they're still children who are new to the world on the inside. Hopefully, they do something about it when they feel something is wrong.

15. Be curious, adventurous, amused, and like a big child.
       
             This is something anyone and everyone should do, at any age. A few of the other things I've listed are unreachable at a later stage in life, (unless you plan on taking steroids to increase hormone production) but this is a mentality that simply belongs in your life. A big notion with teenagers is that life is short, and therefore should be lived to the fullest and its funnest. Every day is the first day of the rest of your life, so why not try living the next day like a teen (again)?