I Love Commercials: Trident

My first job was at a local Five Guys, flipping burgers and cutting fries. (More on that another time) Regrettably, despite all the perks and experiences I had there, I was never paid in Trident layers. I hear the manager does, though.

Take it easy this Friday; be glad that gum is cheap, and that you can probably afford many packs on salary. :D

100 Awesome Uses of the Apple : An Underappreciated Fruit

                                                                                 Compiled by: Jamie Hubert and Brook Bi

For: Our good, though uninformed pal, Ryan. Sometimes, good things do come out of an hour of idle time.

We hope that this list gives you a good laugh, and some ideas on how to spice up your relationship with your apples.

1. A tasty snack.
2. A doorstop.
3. A projectile.

4. A wife (mistress) for Mr. Potato Head.
5. A computer.
6. A paperweight.
7. A makeshift baseball.
8. Subject matter for art.
9. Inspiration.
10. To keep the doctor away.
11. A home for worms.
12. A perfume. (Just rub it on your skin)
13. A spherical template.
14. Something to stab.
15. Something to shoot arrows at.

A lovely face.

16. Something you can put caramel on.
17. Sauce-able.
18. A main ingredient of apple pie.
19. Shinigami food. (That)

20. Bribes.
21. Threats.
        a. Blackmail
22. Math problems.
23. Currency.
24. A considerate gift.
25. Something that starts with A.
26. A fruit to model jean bottoms after.
27. 700 points in Pac-Man
28. A festive fruit…it’s green and red and yellow!
29. A traffic light.
30. Breaking into car doors.
31. Compost.
32. A 3-dimensional object.
33. A substitute brick.
34. A fruit with which to build a house out of.
35. A hat.
36. Something that rhymes with “scrapple” when writing poetry
37. Something to give to a teacher. 

What a lovely face.

38. Fall decoration.
39. For something that shouldn’t be compared with oranges.
40. A plug for an apple-sized hole in a dam.
41.  An accomplice for an annoying orange. 

42. A party game that leads to many sexual innuendos.
43. A fruit to make chips out of.
44. To cover a book from a dramatic teenage vampire series that is overly talked about. Rhymes with “Eyesight”.
45. The answer to “You are the ______ of my eye.”
46. Also, a 2011 Taiwanese romance film.
47. When you’re feeling pomaceous.
48. An ideal coma-inducing poison fruit.
49. Something health-conscious people give out on Halloween.
50. A source of economic prosperity for a developing country.
51. Something found in orchards.
52. A good fruit for God to forbid. You know you want it!
53. A good substitute for plums.
54. Something that is both red and delicious.
55. Something that is both green and delicious.
56. Something that is both yellow and delicious. 

Ignore the website name.

57. Something that is both brown and not delicious. 

58. Food for your pet fruit fly.
59. Something to philosophize about.
60. Helps d00ds talk. (Adam’s Apple)
61. An appropriate monument for Steve Jobs.
62. A good name for a British psychedelic rock band.
63. When used in conjunction with bees, a nice moderately priced-restaurant chain.
64. A humorous Halloween costume.

65. A crunchy snack.
66. Fake cleavage implants.
67. A part in the Fruit of the Loom logo.
68. When large, New York City.
69. As a percussion instrument.
70. Cider-able.
71. An ideal name for a record label on Abbey Road. 

Yeah! And you thought we were kidding.

72. Something to grow in Harvest Moon.
73. A fun thing to count.
74. Things with which to injure Ryan.
75. A substitute bouquet of flowers.  

76. A punching bag.
77. A substitute 8 ball.
78. If you’re Rudolph in a school play, a bright and shiny nose.
79. In conjunction with Jax, a delicious cereal. (Not the winna’, mon.)
80. A pencil holder.
81. Lunch :)
82. A burnt offering to the gods.
83. When sliced, round shuriken.
84. A basketball.
85. A soccer ball.
86. A ping pong ball.
87. Great to bring to parties. Ladies love ‘em.
88. The main character of a reality TV series.
89. Ingredient for your grandma’s apple crisp recipe.
90. A distraction. (For your getaway, of course)
91. A babysitter for your kids. 92. Something to bob for.
93. A pleasant-smelling biofuel.
94. Helping Isaac Newton discover gravity.
95. To plant, in order to grow more apples!
96. A measuring unit. (you know, like, a mile, a meter, an apple)

From apple haters to lovers.

97. Modeling the solar system.
98. Horse motivation.
99. Something to make a list about.
100. World peace.

Alex the Parrot

IQ of 13. Still counts.

       I was randomly wasting my time on the internet, as I find myself doing a lot, when I found something truly marveling and eye-opening. (it's so amazing the things you can discover when you're randomly surfing) If you will, please spare a moment of your time and give this a think as well.
       For the longest time, I was certain that complex mammals were the only beings capable of cognition, with the simplest life-form capable of serious learning (not just conditioning) being the cat/dog/dolphin. Well, I was proven wrong- something I'm glad happens quite a bit- on the 36th birthday of a deceased parrot.

Avian Language EXperiment - "ALEX"

         Alex the Parrot was an African Gray Parrot purchased at a plain old pet store in Chicago. Despite all the things he would eventually learn, flying was not one of them. (His wings were clipped). He was trained and managed by animal psychologist Irene Pepperberg, and lived to be 31 years old, rather young for a species with a life expectancy of 60 years. More on that later. 

         For a bird, Alex was rather amazing, and unheard of at the time. He is a prime example of the power of perspective; to a hardcore fact-based analyzer, he became rather skilled in two-way communications with humans through learning words, and combining them into phrases. To others, though, he used the English language to establish a real working relationship with human beings, perhaps even associating emotions with words. His vocabulary eventually expanded to include around 150 words, and he was even able to do basic addition. Comparing his development to that of children, he had the skills and personality of a typical 5 year old. He recognized that objects were permanent and that they don't stop existing just because they're out of sight, a lesson even newborn humans have to learn.

         One of the biggest arguments for the existence of a personality was the way he approached Pepperberg's experiments. For example, he answered 80% of all the test questions correctly, but more interesting was that were his reactions to the questions. Sometimes, when asked a question that seemed very mundane to him (i.e. "count the number of red objects here"), he would purposefully shout out the wrong answer in defiance of the exam (e.g. answering 17 when only 10 objects, 3 of which were red, were present). Furthermore, he would also communicate his preference for certain locations by saying "Wanna go ___" When he wasn't taken to his destination of choice, he would sometimes complain and repeat again where he wished to go. He once asked what color he was, and learned "gray" after being told six times, and this demonstrates that he might have possessed curiosity.

September 6th, 2007

Representin'.

         Alex the Parrot passed away at the age of 31 rotations around the Earth, doing a great job in advancing the field of animal psychology, something that hardly anyone believed in for birds. The pathology, posted on October 4th, stated: 

            Alex died quickly. He had a sudden, unexpected catastrophic event associated with arteriosclerosis ("hardening of the arteries"). It was either a fatal arrhythmia, heart attack or stroke, which caused him to die suddenly with no suffering. There was no way to predict his demise. All of his tests, including his cholesterol level and asper levels, came back normal earlier that week. His death could not be connected to his current diet or his age; our veterinarian said that she has seen similar events in young (less than 10 year old) birds on healthy diets. Most likely, genetics or the same kind of low-level (impossible to detect in birds as yet) inflammatory disease that is related to heart disease in humans was responsible.

         All in all, Alex possessed a lot of the behavior of a child. He threw a lot of fits, and conveyed annoyance and bad temperament often. He could get bored, and liked to play a lot more than he did work. But for a parrot, he sure was impressive, and the other two birds that continued Pepperberg's research were not quite up to his level. And the saddest part was his last words to Pepperberg: "You be good, see you tomorrow. I love you."
         For the most part, I am a devoted follower of science and its principles, but in this case, it's difficult not to want to have a little faith that maybe there was something that simply couldn't be explained by a law or a theory. Just a thought for your Hump Day.

How to Perform Better Using Psychology

Dramatic lighting: check.

           Imagine that it's the big football game. The last game of the playoffs, of the season. Win this, and your team  members are the county champs. Lose, and, well, there's always next year - but you'd rather not think about that. Too bad you had a sloppy first half and you're down by 5 points exactly. There's only a few precious seconds left on the clock, and your team's mood is getting desperate and bleak. The home crowd is hungry for a win, and the quarterback just let you know a second ago that you're going to be making the last play. "What? The last play? Oh shit!" you say. By the time you get around to your starting position and stare down the 40-or-so yards remaining, your mind has had just enough time to process the words and make you dizzy as a result. Frantically, you scan your thoughts for what to do, how to do it, and where to go. At this time, the long hours on the field, on the track, in the gym, it all comes back to you. You remember how much you've prepared for this moment, and in the split seconds before the play begins, you analyze the situation. You remember that when it all comes down to it, beyond all the strategy and tactics, football is a simple game. Important, but simple.
           Before you know it, the ball ends up in your hands. A shred of self-doubt enters your mind, as your feet forget how to move. But then, the crowd decides to spare you. A startling roar from the audience shifts your body into gear, and you realize what they're all rooting for. They want you to dodge this guy, run past this one, and fight through this one; and you listen. One moment, you're battling for every yard, the fight of your life. The next, you've won. You've done it. The fame, the glory, the bitches, it's all yours. But: could you have done it without that little bit of help from the crowd?
          Maybe not, says psychology.

Social Facilitation and You

          Social facilitation is a complicated term for a sensation most anyone can relate to. Simply put, it states that what we do well, we are likely to do even better in front of an audience, especially a friendly one; what you normally find difficult may seem all but impossible when you are being watched. This only further emphasizes the importance of practice and preparation. Plenty of people will tell you that they don't work well under pressure, but oftentimes the problem is that they procrastinated far too long and aren't ready when the situation demands. A criminal who hot-wires cars on a regular basis is far more lucky to successfully steal one when being chased by the police than the average layman.

         Possibly, you feel as though you knew this all along (this could be the hindsight bias). That our performance is not based solely on our abilities, but also our internal awareness, is not an unheard of, or even uncommon, notion. So how can one use this knowledge to their advantage? 

         

Not that kind of arousal, buddy.

 1. Imagine an audience, or imagine that there isn't one.

         Some people focus on internalizing and think about nothing but themselves when the moment of truth  comes. Others imagine familiar faces, or a mass of onlookers to rally themselves up in a situation. These are both effective strategies, but only in certain cases. For example, if your job requires you to cut boxes for an extended amount of time, and you wish to finish more quickly, you can use your imagination to bring about grandiosity and your own form of arousal. If you're on the Hunger Games and you've got to terminate someone with a weapon you've never seen before, it might be advisable to ignore the millions that are watching you and hoping that you fail (hypothetically, of course). Thankfully, the power of the mind can also be used to trick itself.

              2. Always come prepared, never not.
        As far as I know, Martin Luther King Jr. didn't wing "I Have a Dream". A solid preparation goes a long way in how you perform. Michael Phelps was probably super-engaged by the nearly global support he received  in his conquest for numerous golds, but every interview involving his coach reveals brutal and painful dedication, practice, and preparation. If you've ever delivered a pre-written speech without rehearsal, you know how bad nerves can get in front of an audience. On the other hand, not much feels better than a well-executed talk that gets a great crowd response.
              3. Help diminish the effect of social influence when the effect is negative.
      While the researchers studying this material decided that there was a certain limit where facilitation went from bad to good, they also agreed that an individual's response to peers affected this limit. Although there are many models as to how social facilitation works, almost all agree that a person is only as affected as much as they care. And while this goes against nearly everything I stand for, it may be better sometimes to simply not care about the outcome and what anyone thinks.