When Life Gives You Lemons...

You Know What They Say

We've all heard that old saying for when somebody is in a bad situation: "When life gives you lemons, you make lemonade." Some of us might have heard it a bit differently. If you were a fan of the Andy Milonakis Show or if you just liked the theme song (like me), you may remember the line that goes, "When life gives me lemons I make beef stew." Andy Milonakis actually threw away the lemon, radically changed his perspective, and started making beef stew instead. You can see what I mean here. I'm not saying you should give up and move on that easily, by any means. However, I think it is wise to explore the unconventional solutions to your problems.

Lemonade

You kids get off my lawn!

Let's take a sec and think about the associations we have with lemonade. You think of lemonade and you might just picture the exact same thing I do: kids at a table in their front yard, on a sweltering hot day, yelling at passing cars, possibly with a sign posted, and a pitcher of mediocre "I've had better from a Kool-Aid packet" lemonade. Yet, somehow these children find a way to guilt you into spending a quarter or two on a cup, anyway.
Some kid years ago probably had nothing better to do one summer day, so he or she looked around the kitchen and saw some lemons.  They then proceeded to find sugar and tap water, and Viola! they thought of the simplest thing to make to pass the time and even make a bit of money. An instant classic, I think you'd agree.
Well, that is how I see the whole business (no pun intended) of making lemonade: childish. It's like grasping for the simplest solution. The sad thing is that the quick fix is usually only a temporary one. Something else will go wrong after a short time. Imagine if this child saw the lemons and sugar and made lemon squares or lemon cookies; hey, they could have capitalized on that before the girl scouts did! Instead, they made an easily replicable lemonade stand.

Beef Stew

Personally, I'm not a huge fan of soup or beef, but I do enjoy beef stew, every so often. My mom always knows how the weather will be the next day, so she plans dinner accordingly. On a cold, winter, possibly snowy night she will make beef stew. It is a satisfying and well-rounded meal. Beef is the protein. My mom adds carrots and tomatoes for vegetables (yeah, I know tomato is a fruit, but does "fruity beef stew" sound appealing to you?). Potatoes supply the starch in it to make it filling. Beef stew is comfortable and cozy.

"Yummm". - Brook

It is great to come home to a pot of beef stew cooking, knowing it will be done in time for dinner. The savory smell permeates the whole house. What is even greater than eating beef stew is cooking it. Nobody is going to argue that it's the most sophisticated food; it's just good and simple. I told you what my mom puts in it, but there are so many other ways to make it. You can add almost anything you think would taste good. You just put it all together and let it cook for a few hours. Allow the flavors to mingle and the textures to get just right. Lemons are certainly not a traditional ingredient in beef stew, but I think some lemon juice could be a tasty addition.
The only real trick to beef stew is timing. Give it too little time, and the vegetables are raw and crunchy. Give it too much time to cook, and you'll be left with a mushy blob of food. If you just absolutely forget about it and leave it to cook for much too long, it'll dry out and burn.
If you have a bit of time and some lemons, why not make beef stew? It won't be the first idea that comes to mind, but it could turn out quite well in the end.

Next time life gives you lemons, first, be glad for free lemons! Second, take a step back, look around you, and think of all the possibilities: ranging from the most obvious to the extremely abstract. Relax and give yourself and your problem a bit of time to work out. Maybe you could even make some beef stew and tell me how it turns out.


P.S. You can watch Andy Milonakis getting high here (0:57) :P

How You Should Eat Breakfast

Breakfast is delicious and starchy. Pancakes, waffles, french toast, bagels, muffins, toast, cereal, crepes, donuts. Cover with butter and syrup. Mmm, it's sweet and delicious. Nuff said.

...and carbs!

Personally, I love IHOP and really any place with many breakfast options. Friendly's is good for brekky too. Some people like protein, like eggs and bacon and sausage, but I'm more of a carb junky, myself. In fact it has been said that one should start the day with lean proteins (i.e. eggs) and save carbohydrates for lunch midday. I say don't tell me how to eat my breakfast; I do what I want. I love chocolate chip pancakes.

I'm going to give you my secret for perfectly dressed pancakes and french toast. Ready? First, spread the butter (however much you like) on the slices or cakes while they're whole. I used to omit the butter until I realized how good it made everything. Second, stack and cut all into bite-sized pieces (I find that checkerboard pattern cuts work best- cut all horizontal lines then all vertical). Thirdly, drizzle syrup on the pieces, enough to soak in but not make it soupy. The fourth step is to clear a few inches on the side of the plate for a pool of syrup. Fifth, pick some pieces up with your fork and use the pool to coat the pieces with as much or little extra syrup as you'd like before the sixth step. Six, stuff your face and repeat; go ahead, feel fat, it is breakfast you're eating :)

Breakfast of champions

Another of my absolute favourites is the waffle. Personally, I got a waffle maker just to enjoy this treat more often. I like making chocolate waffles, but Belgian waffles are yummy as well. Even if you can only get waffles from a restaurant, you can order it this way for a perfect waffle. This is how I like it best. I like to slather butter on the warm waffle then put chocolate ice cream on top. I then proceed to top that with whipped cream and drizzle with breakfast syrup that gets into all those waffle crevices. You get a warm scrumptious waffle with cold melty ice cream on top. YAY! No need for pre-cutting the pieces or an extra pool of syrup here; although, sometimes a layer of syrup on the bottom of the plate helps the waffle soak it up to make it extra sweet.

As for cereal, I like it in in a bowl with enough unsweetened vanilla flavored almond milk to cover it. So, before I go further, I'm going to confirm something I'm sure you've already guessed about me: I'm really weird about food. I have some of the strangest tastes, so here it goes. I tell all, but only for you, my readers. I let the cereal soak in milk about 15 minutes to get really soggy. Then I eat it. I suggest trying it at least once, unless you think it's too weird.

Sometimes I make it for my birthday dessert

Many of my friends will be able to tell you how much I'm crazy for donuts. I've been known to eat half a dozen in one sitting. But really, almost any fatty baked good is an excellent breakfast: danishes, pastries, coffee cake, muffins, fritters. I typically save cake and cookies for dessert, but if you like that, then to each his own. One thing that is acceptable for both breakfast and desert occasions is bread pudding. I love it. Dense, carb-filled custard is so great. You can add fruit to trick yourself into thinking it's healthy, and there are french toast versions for it if you want a more breakfast-y bread pudding.
Here comes another weird breakfast food preference of mine. I like burnt toast, or really almost anything burnt, but toast is the easiest. I spread butter, jam, nutella, or peanut butter on my burnt breakfast toast. For lunch I might make a PB&J on burnt toast, though. I really suggest you try this stuff. If you do, leave a comment and I might film myself eating one of your favourite breakfast creations.

In conclusion, you should eat breakfast because it tastes good. There are plenty of options, most of which are easy to make yourself. So do your taste buds a favor, pour on the butter and syrup, and enjoy breakfast--at least once in a while. Please leave a comment to tell me how you prefer your breakfast.

Chinese Poker

None of this.

         Whenever I attempt to explain this game, most people's eyes glaze over. Hopefully from now on I can just redirect them to this blog, and save myself the breath. Before we begin, let me assure you, this game does not involve any ancient Chinese proverbs, poorly translated movies, or bizarre finger traps. In fact, there's not much ethnic about this game at all, besides me learning it from my Asian mom, who learned it from her Asian mom. Just saying, I've managed to integrate this game to my white friends, and I think you'll like it, regardless of race.


                                                                     

The Basics:

• 2 standard decks (with jokers) are recommended
• 2-5 players (though we've broken that rule a few times)
• No poker chips needed.
• Objective: get rid of all of your cards first.
• Knowledge of poker hands is a prerequisite (we've got you covered, though! Five card draw guide here.)
• Aces are high or low, straights can go roundabout

Gameplay:

1. The dealer hands out fifteen cards face-down to each player before the game begins. The remaining cards are discarded.

2. As per Chinese custom (I lied, I'm a filthy liar) the player with the three of hearts goes first. If there are multiple 3-hearts out, we go by Chinese Food Friday custom: an intense game of rock-paper-scissors is played until a winner is determined.


3. The first player decides what poker hand to lay down first -i.e. a pair of 6s. (Note: only the pair is played, no other cards.) Play goes clockwise.


4. The next player, in order to play anything, must lay down a better hand of the same kind* -i.e. a pair of 7s. Otherwise, he passes.


5. When everyone passes, the player who laid down the best hand can decide what to play next. Play goes until someone successfully rids their hand of cards.


*The only exception to this rule is if the hand played is a single card. At any point on a single card, a player may play a full house (this is referred to as "stabbing") or a four of a kind with a kicker (this is loosely referred to as "exploding") on top. After that, better five card hands must be played on top.

What now?

The winner of the round gets his very own trump value (first win- 3, last win- Ace). Everyone plays the next round with the trump value being higher than ace (still lower than joker). The goal of the match is to raise your trump value to ace and then win a final time. However, you can stop whenever.


A bit confusing? An example of a real game can be found here: ____________






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