100 Awesome Uses of the Apple : An Underappreciated Fruit

                                                                                 Compiled by: Jamie Hubert and Brook Bi

For: Our good, though uninformed pal, Ryan. Sometimes, good things do come out of an hour of idle time.

We hope that this list gives you a good laugh, and some ideas on how to spice up your relationship with your apples.

1. A tasty snack.
2. A doorstop.
3. A projectile.

4. A wife (mistress) for Mr. Potato Head.
5. A computer.
6. A paperweight.
7. A makeshift baseball.
8. Subject matter for art.
9. Inspiration.
10. To keep the doctor away.
11. A home for worms.
12. A perfume. (Just rub it on your skin)
13. A spherical template.
14. Something to stab.
15. Something to shoot arrows at.

A lovely face.

16. Something you can put caramel on.
17. Sauce-able.
18. A main ingredient of apple pie.
19. Shinigami food. (That)

20. Bribes.
21. Threats.
        a. Blackmail
22. Math problems.
23. Currency.
24. A considerate gift.
25. Something that starts with A.
26. A fruit to model jean bottoms after.
27. 700 points in Pac-Man
28. A festive fruit…it’s green and red and yellow!
29. A traffic light.
30. Breaking into car doors.
31. Compost.
32. A 3-dimensional object.
33. A substitute brick.
34. A fruit with which to build a house out of.
35. A hat.
36. Something that rhymes with “scrapple” when writing poetry
37. Something to give to a teacher. 

What a lovely face.

38. Fall decoration.
39. For something that shouldn’t be compared with oranges.
40. A plug for an apple-sized hole in a dam.
41.  An accomplice for an annoying orange. 

42. A party game that leads to many sexual innuendos.
43. A fruit to make chips out of.
44. To cover a book from a dramatic teenage vampire series that is overly talked about. Rhymes with “Eyesight”.
45. The answer to “You are the ______ of my eye.”
46. Also, a 2011 Taiwanese romance film.
47. When you’re feeling pomaceous.
48. An ideal coma-inducing poison fruit.
49. Something health-conscious people give out on Halloween.
50. A source of economic prosperity for a developing country.
51. Something found in orchards.
52. A good fruit for God to forbid. You know you want it!
53. A good substitute for plums.
54. Something that is both red and delicious.
55. Something that is both green and delicious.
56. Something that is both yellow and delicious. 

Ignore the website name.

57. Something that is both brown and not delicious. 

58. Food for your pet fruit fly.
59. Something to philosophize about.
60. Helps d00ds talk. (Adam’s Apple)
61. An appropriate monument for Steve Jobs.
62. A good name for a British psychedelic rock band.
63. When used in conjunction with bees, a nice moderately priced-restaurant chain.
64. A humorous Halloween costume.

65. A crunchy snack.
66. Fake cleavage implants.
67. A part in the Fruit of the Loom logo.
68. When large, New York City.
69. As a percussion instrument.
70. Cider-able.
71. An ideal name for a record label on Abbey Road. 

Yeah! And you thought we were kidding.

72. Something to grow in Harvest Moon.
73. A fun thing to count.
74. Things with which to injure Ryan.
75. A substitute bouquet of flowers.  

76. A punching bag.
77. A substitute 8 ball.
78. If you’re Rudolph in a school play, a bright and shiny nose.
79. In conjunction with Jax, a delicious cereal. (Not the winna’, mon.)
80. A pencil holder.
81. Lunch :)
82. A burnt offering to the gods.
83. When sliced, round shuriken.
84. A basketball.
85. A soccer ball.
86. A ping pong ball.
87. Great to bring to parties. Ladies love ‘em.
88. The main character of a reality TV series.
89. Ingredient for your grandma’s apple crisp recipe.
90. A distraction. (For your getaway, of course)
91. A babysitter for your kids. 92. Something to bob for.
93. A pleasant-smelling biofuel.
94. Helping Isaac Newton discover gravity.
95. To plant, in order to grow more apples!
96. A measuring unit. (you know, like, a mile, a meter, an apple)

From apple haters to lovers.

97. Modeling the solar system.
98. Horse motivation.
99. Something to make a list about.
100. World peace.

When Life Gives You Lemons...

You Know What They Say

We've all heard that old saying for when somebody is in a bad situation: "When life gives you lemons, you make lemonade." Some of us might have heard it a bit differently. If you were a fan of the Andy Milonakis Show or if you just liked the theme song (like me), you may remember the line that goes, "When life gives me lemons I make beef stew." Andy Milonakis actually threw away the lemon, radically changed his perspective, and started making beef stew instead. You can see what I mean here. I'm not saying you should give up and move on that easily, by any means. However, I think it is wise to explore the unconventional solutions to your problems.

Lemonade

You kids get off my lawn!

Let's take a sec and think about the associations we have with lemonade. You think of lemonade and you might just picture the exact same thing I do: kids at a table in their front yard, on a sweltering hot day, yelling at passing cars, possibly with a sign posted, and a pitcher of mediocre "I've had better from a Kool-Aid packet" lemonade. Yet, somehow these children find a way to guilt you into spending a quarter or two on a cup, anyway.
Some kid years ago probably had nothing better to do one summer day, so he or she looked around the kitchen and saw some lemons.  They then proceeded to find sugar and tap water, and Viola! they thought of the simplest thing to make to pass the time and even make a bit of money. An instant classic, I think you'd agree.
Well, that is how I see the whole business (no pun intended) of making lemonade: childish. It's like grasping for the simplest solution. The sad thing is that the quick fix is usually only a temporary one. Something else will go wrong after a short time. Imagine if this child saw the lemons and sugar and made lemon squares or lemon cookies; hey, they could have capitalized on that before the girl scouts did! Instead, they made an easily replicable lemonade stand.

Beef Stew

Personally, I'm not a huge fan of soup or beef, but I do enjoy beef stew, every so often. My mom always knows how the weather will be the next day, so she plans dinner accordingly. On a cold, winter, possibly snowy night she will make beef stew. It is a satisfying and well-rounded meal. Beef is the protein. My mom adds carrots and tomatoes for vegetables (yeah, I know tomato is a fruit, but does "fruity beef stew" sound appealing to you?). Potatoes supply the starch in it to make it filling. Beef stew is comfortable and cozy.

"Yummm". - Brook

It is great to come home to a pot of beef stew cooking, knowing it will be done in time for dinner. The savory smell permeates the whole house. What is even greater than eating beef stew is cooking it. Nobody is going to argue that it's the most sophisticated food; it's just good and simple. I told you what my mom puts in it, but there are so many other ways to make it. You can add almost anything you think would taste good. You just put it all together and let it cook for a few hours. Allow the flavors to mingle and the textures to get just right. Lemons are certainly not a traditional ingredient in beef stew, but I think some lemon juice could be a tasty addition.
The only real trick to beef stew is timing. Give it too little time, and the vegetables are raw and crunchy. Give it too much time to cook, and you'll be left with a mushy blob of food. If you just absolutely forget about it and leave it to cook for much too long, it'll dry out and burn.
If you have a bit of time and some lemons, why not make beef stew? It won't be the first idea that comes to mind, but it could turn out quite well in the end.

Next time life gives you lemons, first, be glad for free lemons! Second, take a step back, look around you, and think of all the possibilities: ranging from the most obvious to the extremely abstract. Relax and give yourself and your problem a bit of time to work out. Maybe you could even make some beef stew and tell me how it turns out.


P.S. You can watch Andy Milonakis getting high here (0:57) :P