I Love Commercials: Trident

My first job was at a local Five Guys, flipping burgers and cutting fries. (More on that another time) Regrettably, despite all the perks and experiences I had there, I was never paid in Trident layers. I hear the manager does, though.

Take it easy this Friday; be glad that gum is cheap, and that you can probably afford many packs on salary. :D

100 Awesome Uses of the Apple : An Underappreciated Fruit

                                                                                 Compiled by: Jamie Hubert and Brook Bi

For: Our good, though uninformed pal, Ryan. Sometimes, good things do come out of an hour of idle time.

We hope that this list gives you a good laugh, and some ideas on how to spice up your relationship with your apples.

1. A tasty snack.
2. A doorstop.
3. A projectile.

4. A wife (mistress) for Mr. Potato Head.
5. A computer.
6. A paperweight.
7. A makeshift baseball.
8. Subject matter for art.
9. Inspiration.
10. To keep the doctor away.
11. A home for worms.
12. A perfume. (Just rub it on your skin)
13. A spherical template.
14. Something to stab.
15. Something to shoot arrows at.

A lovely face.

16. Something you can put caramel on.
17. Sauce-able.
18. A main ingredient of apple pie.
19. Shinigami food. (That)

20. Bribes.
21. Threats.
        a. Blackmail
22. Math problems.
23. Currency.
24. A considerate gift.
25. Something that starts with A.
26. A fruit to model jean bottoms after.
27. 700 points in Pac-Man
28. A festive fruit…it’s green and red and yellow!
29. A traffic light.
30. Breaking into car doors.
31. Compost.
32. A 3-dimensional object.
33. A substitute brick.
34. A fruit with which to build a house out of.
35. A hat.
36. Something that rhymes with “scrapple” when writing poetry
37. Something to give to a teacher. 

What a lovely face.

38. Fall decoration.
39. For something that shouldn’t be compared with oranges.
40. A plug for an apple-sized hole in a dam.
41.  An accomplice for an annoying orange. 

42. A party game that leads to many sexual innuendos.
43. A fruit to make chips out of.
44. To cover a book from a dramatic teenage vampire series that is overly talked about. Rhymes with “Eyesight”.
45. The answer to “You are the ______ of my eye.”
46. Also, a 2011 Taiwanese romance film.
47. When you’re feeling pomaceous.
48. An ideal coma-inducing poison fruit.
49. Something health-conscious people give out on Halloween.
50. A source of economic prosperity for a developing country.
51. Something found in orchards.
52. A good fruit for God to forbid. You know you want it!
53. A good substitute for plums.
54. Something that is both red and delicious.
55. Something that is both green and delicious.
56. Something that is both yellow and delicious. 

Ignore the website name.

57. Something that is both brown and not delicious. 

58. Food for your pet fruit fly.
59. Something to philosophize about.
60. Helps d00ds talk. (Adam’s Apple)
61. An appropriate monument for Steve Jobs.
62. A good name for a British psychedelic rock band.
63. When used in conjunction with bees, a nice moderately priced-restaurant chain.
64. A humorous Halloween costume.

65. A crunchy snack.
66. Fake cleavage implants.
67. A part in the Fruit of the Loom logo.
68. When large, New York City.
69. As a percussion instrument.
70. Cider-able.
71. An ideal name for a record label on Abbey Road. 

Yeah! And you thought we were kidding.

72. Something to grow in Harvest Moon.
73. A fun thing to count.
74. Things with which to injure Ryan.
75. A substitute bouquet of flowers.  

76. A punching bag.
77. A substitute 8 ball.
78. If you’re Rudolph in a school play, a bright and shiny nose.
79. In conjunction with Jax, a delicious cereal. (Not the winna’, mon.)
80. A pencil holder.
81. Lunch :)
82. A burnt offering to the gods.
83. When sliced, round shuriken.
84. A basketball.
85. A soccer ball.
86. A ping pong ball.
87. Great to bring to parties. Ladies love ‘em.
88. The main character of a reality TV series.
89. Ingredient for your grandma’s apple crisp recipe.
90. A distraction. (For your getaway, of course)
91. A babysitter for your kids. 92. Something to bob for.
93. A pleasant-smelling biofuel.
94. Helping Isaac Newton discover gravity.
95. To plant, in order to grow more apples!
96. A measuring unit. (you know, like, a mile, a meter, an apple)

From apple haters to lovers.

97. Modeling the solar system.
98. Horse motivation.
99. Something to make a list about.
100. World peace.

Alex the Parrot

IQ of 13. Still counts.

       I was randomly wasting my time on the internet, as I find myself doing a lot, when I found something truly marveling and eye-opening. (it's so amazing the things you can discover when you're randomly surfing) If you will, please spare a moment of your time and give this a think as well.
       For the longest time, I was certain that complex mammals were the only beings capable of cognition, with the simplest life-form capable of serious learning (not just conditioning) being the cat/dog/dolphin. Well, I was proven wrong- something I'm glad happens quite a bit- on the 36th birthday of a deceased parrot.

Avian Language EXperiment - "ALEX"

         Alex the Parrot was an African Gray Parrot purchased at a plain old pet store in Chicago. Despite all the things he would eventually learn, flying was not one of them. (His wings were clipped). He was trained and managed by animal psychologist Irene Pepperberg, and lived to be 31 years old, rather young for a species with a life expectancy of 60 years. More on that later. 

         For a bird, Alex was rather amazing, and unheard of at the time. He is a prime example of the power of perspective; to a hardcore fact-based analyzer, he became rather skilled in two-way communications with humans through learning words, and combining them into phrases. To others, though, he used the English language to establish a real working relationship with human beings, perhaps even associating emotions with words. His vocabulary eventually expanded to include around 150 words, and he was even able to do basic addition. Comparing his development to that of children, he had the skills and personality of a typical 5 year old. He recognized that objects were permanent and that they don't stop existing just because they're out of sight, a lesson even newborn humans have to learn.

         One of the biggest arguments for the existence of a personality was the way he approached Pepperberg's experiments. For example, he answered 80% of all the test questions correctly, but more interesting was that were his reactions to the questions. Sometimes, when asked a question that seemed very mundane to him (i.e. "count the number of red objects here"), he would purposefully shout out the wrong answer in defiance of the exam (e.g. answering 17 when only 10 objects, 3 of which were red, were present). Furthermore, he would also communicate his preference for certain locations by saying "Wanna go ___" When he wasn't taken to his destination of choice, he would sometimes complain and repeat again where he wished to go. He once asked what color he was, and learned "gray" after being told six times, and this demonstrates that he might have possessed curiosity.

September 6th, 2007

Representin'.

         Alex the Parrot passed away at the age of 31 rotations around the Earth, doing a great job in advancing the field of animal psychology, something that hardly anyone believed in for birds. The pathology, posted on October 4th, stated: 

            Alex died quickly. He had a sudden, unexpected catastrophic event associated with arteriosclerosis ("hardening of the arteries"). It was either a fatal arrhythmia, heart attack or stroke, which caused him to die suddenly with no suffering. There was no way to predict his demise. All of his tests, including his cholesterol level and asper levels, came back normal earlier that week. His death could not be connected to his current diet or his age; our veterinarian said that she has seen similar events in young (less than 10 year old) birds on healthy diets. Most likely, genetics or the same kind of low-level (impossible to detect in birds as yet) inflammatory disease that is related to heart disease in humans was responsible.

         All in all, Alex possessed a lot of the behavior of a child. He threw a lot of fits, and conveyed annoyance and bad temperament often. He could get bored, and liked to play a lot more than he did work. But for a parrot, he sure was impressive, and the other two birds that continued Pepperberg's research were not quite up to his level. And the saddest part was his last words to Pepperberg: "You be good, see you tomorrow. I love you."
         For the most part, I am a devoted follower of science and its principles, but in this case, it's difficult not to want to have a little faith that maybe there was something that simply couldn't be explained by a law or a theory. Just a thought for your Hump Day.

How to Perform Better Using Psychology

Dramatic lighting: check.

           Imagine that it's the big football game. The last game of the playoffs, of the season. Win this, and your team  members are the county champs. Lose, and, well, there's always next year - but you'd rather not think about that. Too bad you had a sloppy first half and you're down by 5 points exactly. There's only a few precious seconds left on the clock, and your team's mood is getting desperate and bleak. The home crowd is hungry for a win, and the quarterback just let you know a second ago that you're going to be making the last play. "What? The last play? Oh shit!" you say. By the time you get around to your starting position and stare down the 40-or-so yards remaining, your mind has had just enough time to process the words and make you dizzy as a result. Frantically, you scan your thoughts for what to do, how to do it, and where to go. At this time, the long hours on the field, on the track, in the gym, it all comes back to you. You remember how much you've prepared for this moment, and in the split seconds before the play begins, you analyze the situation. You remember that when it all comes down to it, beyond all the strategy and tactics, football is a simple game. Important, but simple.
           Before you know it, the ball ends up in your hands. A shred of self-doubt enters your mind, as your feet forget how to move. But then, the crowd decides to spare you. A startling roar from the audience shifts your body into gear, and you realize what they're all rooting for. They want you to dodge this guy, run past this one, and fight through this one; and you listen. One moment, you're battling for every yard, the fight of your life. The next, you've won. You've done it. The fame, the glory, the bitches, it's all yours. But: could you have done it without that little bit of help from the crowd?
          Maybe not, says psychology.

Social Facilitation and You

          Social facilitation is a complicated term for a sensation most anyone can relate to. Simply put, it states that what we do well, we are likely to do even better in front of an audience, especially a friendly one; what you normally find difficult may seem all but impossible when you are being watched. This only further emphasizes the importance of practice and preparation. Plenty of people will tell you that they don't work well under pressure, but oftentimes the problem is that they procrastinated far too long and aren't ready when the situation demands. A criminal who hot-wires cars on a regular basis is far more lucky to successfully steal one when being chased by the police than the average layman.

         Possibly, you feel as though you knew this all along (this could be the hindsight bias). That our performance is not based solely on our abilities, but also our internal awareness, is not an unheard of, or even uncommon, notion. So how can one use this knowledge to their advantage? 

         

Not that kind of arousal, buddy.

 1. Imagine an audience, or imagine that there isn't one.

         Some people focus on internalizing and think about nothing but themselves when the moment of truth  comes. Others imagine familiar faces, or a mass of onlookers to rally themselves up in a situation. These are both effective strategies, but only in certain cases. For example, if your job requires you to cut boxes for an extended amount of time, and you wish to finish more quickly, you can use your imagination to bring about grandiosity and your own form of arousal. If you're on the Hunger Games and you've got to terminate someone with a weapon you've never seen before, it might be advisable to ignore the millions that are watching you and hoping that you fail (hypothetically, of course). Thankfully, the power of the mind can also be used to trick itself.

              2. Always come prepared, never not.
        As far as I know, Martin Luther King Jr. didn't wing "I Have a Dream". A solid preparation goes a long way in how you perform. Michael Phelps was probably super-engaged by the nearly global support he received  in his conquest for numerous golds, but every interview involving his coach reveals brutal and painful dedication, practice, and preparation. If you've ever delivered a pre-written speech without rehearsal, you know how bad nerves can get in front of an audience. On the other hand, not much feels better than a well-executed talk that gets a great crowd response.
              3. Help diminish the effect of social influence when the effect is negative.
      While the researchers studying this material decided that there was a certain limit where facilitation went from bad to good, they also agreed that an individual's response to peers affected this limit. Although there are many models as to how social facilitation works, almost all agree that a person is only as affected as much as they care. And while this goes against nearly everything I stand for, it may be better sometimes to simply not care about the outcome and what anyone thinks.

How to Be a Teenager (15 steps)

           I've heard too often the complaints and stories of those who wish they had their teenageship back. There is also an exorbitantly large number of adults who wish to completely put their youth behind them, and for the wrong reasons. So let's do something about it! Today, I'll walk you through a little tutorial on how and why to live like adolescents, otherwise known as open-minded and free-spirited individuals who behave rashly, sometimes immaturely, and are still trying to find their place in this world.


1. Forget everything that you think you know.
   
          It's time to pop the bubble (or the zit, haha punny?) of the limited field of vision and knowledge that you've become comfortable with for so long. As a teenager, you have to get used to the fact that Santa Claus is probably nonexistent, and that people tend to lie about what they want when they want something. You've got to be a completely dry sponge before you can hope to soak in the realities and truths of the new world and...

2. Become your own individual.

          Maybe in middle school (or in the workplace) you can get away with the "being a part of the pack mentality", and know that behaving just like everyone else will help you keep your status, whether it be work or cool-related. That may have worked before, but this is high school, son! Being the optimal teenager involves realizing that not many people really care about the little, or even the big things that you do or accomplish. In fact, you might even want to

3. Quit worrying about status

          Because that will get you nowhere, and that's what little people do. It doesn't pay to follow where others tell you to go, or do what others suggest you should do.

4. Think about life a lot.

          Because you don't know much about it, no matter how old you are. But maybe if you think really hard, the answer will come to you in a flash of inspiration, kind of like an mind-gasm. You've always been very talented at problem solving; I mean, that's what you have to do at school, right? Life could just philosophically be a final exam that you need to study up for. But maybe you should

5. Talk to others and refine your ideas

         Since that's what science is about, isn't it? If you find the teenagers that stand out from the crowd, the ones that have started their metamorphosis already, you'll find much brilliant insight that you can use to clarify your thoughts on where you're headed, and where humanity is headed.

6134^%&084k. Break the rules, and question everything?

         You may have been raised in a family of order. Perhaps you were raised in a family of chaos and entropy. Probably your house was some of both. Maybe you were raised 40 years ago, but you were still raised, even if by yourself. By now, it's time to figure out who raised you right, and what you should have known all along. Rules exist for a reason, but that reason is a lot deeper than "to prevent bad behavior". Go out and break some rules, despite what your mother, brother, sister, boss, father, or best friend told you. It's imperative that you

7. Act stupid. At least once in your life, but hopefully many, many times.

        How are you supposed to know what's dumb if you haven't lived it? The best way to look really ridiculous is to...

8. Try new things. All the time.

       Remember the time your friend Jimmy dared you to eat a frogs' leg and you chickened out? You're pretty sure you never wanted to feel that regret again, so you realize that you need to be bold. Your (insert sport here) team's motto is "if you do what you've always done, you'll get what you've always gotten". So you'll reach for the new, throw out the ancient, try new methods and practices, and it's all because you...

9. Want things. Want them badly.

       And not just the silly, immature things. You want more than a skateboard, or a new pair of shoes, maybe even more than a brand new car. You want opportunity, freedom, and the world. Idealism floods your veins, and your parents' words about "thinking about the future" are starting to really hit you. From this day forth, this world is yours for the taking. But only if you...

10. Work hard towards your goals.

      Teenagers sometimes get a bad rap for being lazy or unmotivated, but those are only the ones that lack self-actualization and just haven't fully gotten there yet. The better examples to look at are those that run on the track before school, those that lock themselves in their rooms at night to study, and those who paint the school's murals. Personally, I would consider the 16-year-old gymnasts at the Olympics at least a little actualized.

11. Sleep. Eat. Repeat.
     
      Your body and mind are still growing, so who can blame you for taking care of the simple things? Too often I see older people sacrifice one or the other because of a short-sighted goal, and they wonder how they end up so cranky sometimes.

12. Make mistaches mistkes mistakes. And learn from them.

      As many people believe, wisdom is earned through experience, and teenagers frankly don't have enough of it. Or sometimes, they just don't respond to the negative areas of their life except with complaints, and then wonder why their lives are stagnant. There was a motto printed on the shirts of a sports team that said "if you do what you've always done, you'll get what you've always gotten." Truth.

13. Feel the whole range of emotion.

       Let's face it. Teenagers are emotional! Hormones raging, lives changing, plenty of first experiences, pressures from all angles, interacting with all sorts of people, it's a lot to take on in a few years. Emotions are often discarded, believed by many to be useless and a hindrance. However, emotion is deeply rooted in the subconscious, limbic brain, and it's a huge part of what makes us human. Note: does not apply if you're a robot who's reading this in the distant future.

14. Get frustrated at the way things are. Be aware!
 
      After you've been around something for so long, it's easy to start thinking that it's normal. Take this interesting experiment with corporate monkeys, for example. (What they didn't include was that the banana was removed in step 5.)
 

            Young adults are notorious for being inquisitive, and sometimes rowdy when they see something they don't like. They're less likely to fall for the "that's how things are done around here" mentality, and that's partly because they're still children who are new to the world on the inside. Hopefully, they do something about it when they feel something is wrong.

15. Be curious, adventurous, amused, and like a big child.
       
             This is something anyone and everyone should do, at any age. A few of the other things I've listed are unreachable at a later stage in life, (unless you plan on taking steroids to increase hormone production) but this is a mentality that simply belongs in your life. A big notion with teenagers is that life is short, and therefore should be lived to the fullest and its funnest. Every day is the first day of the rest of your life, so why not try living the next day like a teen (again)?

I Love Commercials: 1877Kars4Kids

If you are from the Massachusetts area of the United States, you may have heard this commercial on the radio. If you are not from around there, I can give you this warning: every who's heard it will agree that it is annoying and will get stuck in your head. I love how the little kid sings, then the old man sings, and they finish by singing together. Super cute!




Bonus! They are now on the web, if you want to donate your car.  I hope you'll be singing this awesome commercial all weekend. I also hope I did not cause you any mental trauma by telling you to listen to it. Have a wonderful weekend!

When Life Gives You Lemons...

You Know What They Say

We've all heard that old saying for when somebody is in a bad situation: "When life gives you lemons, you make lemonade." Some of us might have heard it a bit differently. If you were a fan of the Andy Milonakis Show or if you just liked the theme song (like me), you may remember the line that goes, "When life gives me lemons I make beef stew." Andy Milonakis actually threw away the lemon, radically changed his perspective, and started making beef stew instead. You can see what I mean here. I'm not saying you should give up and move on that easily, by any means. However, I think it is wise to explore the unconventional solutions to your problems.

Lemonade

You kids get off my lawn!

Let's take a sec and think about the associations we have with lemonade. You think of lemonade and you might just picture the exact same thing I do: kids at a table in their front yard, on a sweltering hot day, yelling at passing cars, possibly with a sign posted, and a pitcher of mediocre "I've had better from a Kool-Aid packet" lemonade. Yet, somehow these children find a way to guilt you into spending a quarter or two on a cup, anyway.
Some kid years ago probably had nothing better to do one summer day, so he or she looked around the kitchen and saw some lemons.  They then proceeded to find sugar and tap water, and Viola! they thought of the simplest thing to make to pass the time and even make a bit of money. An instant classic, I think you'd agree.
Well, that is how I see the whole business (no pun intended) of making lemonade: childish. It's like grasping for the simplest solution. The sad thing is that the quick fix is usually only a temporary one. Something else will go wrong after a short time. Imagine if this child saw the lemons and sugar and made lemon squares or lemon cookies; hey, they could have capitalized on that before the girl scouts did! Instead, they made an easily replicable lemonade stand.

Beef Stew

Personally, I'm not a huge fan of soup or beef, but I do enjoy beef stew, every so often. My mom always knows how the weather will be the next day, so she plans dinner accordingly. On a cold, winter, possibly snowy night she will make beef stew. It is a satisfying and well-rounded meal. Beef is the protein. My mom adds carrots and tomatoes for vegetables (yeah, I know tomato is a fruit, but does "fruity beef stew" sound appealing to you?). Potatoes supply the starch in it to make it filling. Beef stew is comfortable and cozy.

"Yummm". - Brook

It is great to come home to a pot of beef stew cooking, knowing it will be done in time for dinner. The savory smell permeates the whole house. What is even greater than eating beef stew is cooking it. Nobody is going to argue that it's the most sophisticated food; it's just good and simple. I told you what my mom puts in it, but there are so many other ways to make it. You can add almost anything you think would taste good. You just put it all together and let it cook for a few hours. Allow the flavors to mingle and the textures to get just right. Lemons are certainly not a traditional ingredient in beef stew, but I think some lemon juice could be a tasty addition.
The only real trick to beef stew is timing. Give it too little time, and the vegetables are raw and crunchy. Give it too much time to cook, and you'll be left with a mushy blob of food. If you just absolutely forget about it and leave it to cook for much too long, it'll dry out and burn.
If you have a bit of time and some lemons, why not make beef stew? It won't be the first idea that comes to mind, but it could turn out quite well in the end.

Next time life gives you lemons, first, be glad for free lemons! Second, take a step back, look around you, and think of all the possibilities: ranging from the most obvious to the extremely abstract. Relax and give yourself and your problem a bit of time to work out. Maybe you could even make some beef stew and tell me how it turns out.


P.S. You can watch Andy Milonakis getting high here (0:57) :P